Choices

This is a different time in history.  Everyone will tell you that it is something we have never experienced before.  We are in a foreign land, an unchartered territory.  If you choose, its hard not to see beyond the unrest, the selfishness, the fear.  But every coin has two sides, doesn't it.  The other side of this scenario is a community uniting; it's people delivering groceries to the homebound, its school systems shuttling food to impoverished communities, its teachers driving by your house just to wave.  The pandemic is changing the structure of businesses, many having to frantically deliver to houses or create online sites to purchase their product.  People are reaching out to support one another, but we still have to find a way to stand 6 feet apart.  We meet in parking lots to have coffee, while sitting in the trucks of our cars at a safe distance.  We Facetime, we Zoom, we even have created ways for our children to chat safely online with friends.

Each family has to make hard choices.  Will you go to work?  Will you work from home?  How will you homeschool?  Who gets to leave the house?  Who grocery shops?  Do your kids get to play with friends?  Who is safe?  Where is safe?  Are we safe?

For the Lucas family, we have decided to all stay at home.  We work here, we learn here, we just stay here.  Since Jason has had the most contact with the outside world, he also grocery shops, runs errands.  He is our outdoor face.  For me, it's created this weird sense of unrest.  I feel so grateful every time he walks in with a load of groceries.  We play the game, what did you find at the store this week?  We try and get the essentials, we don't hoard things we don't need.  We want everyone to have enough and what they need.  That's another choice.  I have learned quickly how much of an extrovert I am, how much I desire time with others.  How much I miss the simple things, like walking into preschool drop-off, sitting at the ball field, running into my favorite boutique, or just going to lunch with a friend.  I miss talking to people, connecting with people without a screen between us.  I feel lonely quite a bit.

We've chosen to let the kids play with our neighbors.  Their guidelines are similar to ours and that makes it feel safe.  But that can change when things change.  When someone in our neighborhood or social circle gets tested, our at home situation will become more narrow and even more closed off.  I question that decision alot.  Are we safe?  Are we making the right choice?  I just don't know.  I can only hope that we are.  We are trying to be reasonable and balanced.  We are trying to not scare the children, to maintain some sort of normalcy.  But no matter what, this does not feel normal.

I will close with this for today.  This experience, this pandemic, the culmination of all these decisions and their impact on our family has been generally positive.  Jason working from home has created a different priority, he feels less preoccupied and more happy.  The kids say I love you more, appreciate the family more.  Teaching them is hard.  It's hard to juggle each of them and feel like you've accomplished a lesson.  But they notice that you care, that they are the priority instead of being late to practice or that they clipped down in class.  God uses all things for good.  I chose to remember this pandemic as the time our family grew together, as the time our family needed to disconnect.  We choose to be the priority, we choose love over fear.