Normal

Well, it's Monday.  The days float by as though they are attached to a magic balloon.  They are heavy at first, weighted down by the expectations of the day, slow to move.  Then suddenly, they lightly lift and start to move quickly into the sky.  Before you realize it, its lunchtime and the morning has sped by.  We are in a groove now.  We are on a schedule.  Although things are not executed with much perfection, they are getting checked off the to-do list.  We are used to the new normal so much that the old normal feels weird to us.  Going to the store feels wrong, standing close to people feels awkward, and the crave for the old ways are fleeting.  There are some things I miss terribly.  I just started to love playing tennis.  I would work happily knowing that tennis day was coming, that "me" time was on the horizon.  Tennis has been cancelled for the season.  No clinics.  No lessons.  No games.  I'm not sure I appreciated it as much as I should have.  That special time is not the same now.  There isn't much of a draw to have it, when all the joy that was in it is gone.  This week my me time was spent making family masks.  Now we can go out and keep the germs at bay. 

So, as you can see from this post, today is more muted for me.  I am struggling a bit with all of it.  I miss being able to just wake up and take my kids to the zoo.  That weekend activity was normal once.  Now, we watch zoo tours online.  The twins missed their kindergarten orientation.  We had an online presentation instead.  Prek graduation is cancelled and the graduation pictures are still up in the air.  It just isn't the same.  Sometimes, when I think about all of it summed up together, it all feels quite heavy.  It feels like my relationships are being taking away.  It feels like an assault on our every day living.  How have we gotten to the point of hoarding food or creating pantry stockpiles?  How are birthday parties celebrating by waving as we drive by a friends house?  How can a trip to the neighborhood playground be dangerous?

Years from now we will know how this all came about.  Did the virus originate in China in a lab as they thought?  Was it intentional?  Did someone mean to hurt millions of people by creating a virus that would alter the essential fabrics of our society?  Hopefully we will learn from all of it.  We will never forget it.